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Great Divide Trail Top Tens

A humorous take on the Great Divide Trail through the Canadian Rockies
A humorous take on the Great Divide Trail through the Canadian Rockies

Nothing tells truth like humor.

Last August and September, Naomi “The Punisher” and I hiked the Great Divide Trail through the Canadian Rockies. While I never blogged about it, now is the time.

I’m gonna save you a lot of reading and let this Top Ten List cut to the meat of a hike that was beautiful, immensely challenging, and deeply rewarding.

Near the high point of the Great Divide Trail
Near the high point of the Great Divide Trail

Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear on the GDT:

10) This rock is really grippy.

9) I decided to bounce my tarp and rain gear.

8) There’s not a cloud in the sky.

7) I’m gonna cool off by going for a swim.

6) The permit reservation system was so easy.

5) “The herd” or “The bubble”

4) The other thru-hikers I met became lifelong friends.

3) I don’t know why you need an umbrella on a thru-hike.

2) The trail is really dusty.

1) I brought too much chocolate.

Mossy spring on the Great Divide Trail
Mossy spring on the Great Divide Trail

Top Ten Things You’ll Only Hear on the GDT

10) Hooray! I found some poop! We must be on trail!

9) I bounced my sunglasses.

8) This grizzly poop looks delicious

7) I wish there was a steaming grizzly poop to warm my hands

6) Postholing in moss

5) Gotta finish before my float plane leaves

4) I wish there were mountain bikers on this trail

3) Just lost my shoe in a s%&*-bog

2) Mud glissading and mud mountaineering

1) Expect to pay $5.99 for ONE PowerBar

Bonus: Eh?

 

*Actual experiences may differ. Of course, the GDT isn’t the only trail/route where these things are said/done. Take these Top Tens with a grain of humor.