Nothing tells truth like humor.
Last August and September, Naomi “The Punisher” and I hiked the Great Divide Trail through the Canadian Rockies. While I never blogged about it, now is the time.
I’m gonna save you a lot of reading and let this Top Ten List cut to the meat of a hike that was beautiful, immensely challenging, and deeply rewarding.
Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear on the GDT:
10) This rock is really grippy.
9) I decided to bounce my tarp and rain gear.
8) There’s not a cloud in the sky.
7) I’m gonna cool off by going for a swim.
6) The permit reservation system was so easy.
5) “The herd” or “The bubble”
4) The other thru-hikers I met became lifelong friends.
3) I don’t know why you need an umbrella on a thru-hike.
2) The trail is really dusty.
1) I brought too much chocolate.
Top Ten Things You’ll Only Hear on the GDT
10) Hooray! I found some poop! We must be on trail!
9) I bounced my sunglasses.
8) This grizzly poop looks delicious
7) I wish there was a steaming grizzly poop to warm my hands
6) Postholing in moss
5) Gotta finish before my float plane leaves
4) I wish there were mountain bikers on this trail
3) Just lost my shoe in a s%&*-bog
2) Mud glissading and mud mountaineering
1) Expect to pay $5.99 for ONE PowerBar
*Actual experiences may differ. Of course, the GDT isn’t the only trail/route where these things are said/done. Take these Top Tens with a grain of humor.